Heroic Truth-Seeking Patriot to Launch Self in Rocket to Prove Government Round-Earth Conspiracy

by Kevin Fenchak

Californian patriot Mike Hughes intends to blow the lid off of decades of government cover-ups and faked UFO sightings with one fell swoop – he will launch himself, at great risk to life and limb, in a homemade rocket into the atmosphere, where he will disprove the illuminati round-earth theory once and for all by taking a picture of the completely flat horizon. Hughes may in fact be the most woke man on the flat interminable landmass we call Earth – he reportedly claims that “John Glenn and Neil Armstrong are Freemasons”

The Freemasons who run NASA are terrified of this heroic man’s dedication to truth and justice, going so far as to get the Bureau of Land Management to prevent him from using public land for the launch. Not to be deterred, Hughes persisted in his quest, valiantly moving his launch three miles down the road onto private land.

The State Patriot stands in solidarity with this great American hero, who has sacrificed so much for our freedoms. The truth of flat earth will no longer be suppressed.



[satire]