Trump Announces the Winners of the Fake News Awards

By Jack T. Oscar season is boring. The movies can be quite good, but the awards show is the worst. It’s just a party for elitist, sex-harassing celebrities. The only award show that I want to see is President Trump’s first annual Fake News Awards. And after watching it, believe me, it was the best award show ever. In a nice tongue-in-cheek list, President Trump tallied the ten fakest new stories of 2017. I won’t go through all ten…

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Heroic Truth-Seeking Patriot to Launch Self in Rocket to Prove Government Round-Earth Conspiracy

by Kevin Fenchak Californian patriot Mike Hughes intends to blow the lid off of decades of government cover-ups and faked UFO sightings with one fell swoop – he will launch himself, at great risk to life and limb, in a homemade rocket into the atmosphere, where he will disprove the illuminati round-earth theory once and for all by taking a picture of the completely flat horizon. Hughes may in fact be the most woke man on the flat interminable…

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A modest compromise on bathrooms

by Dom Decinti Politics and legislation is about compromise, but you wouldn’t know it by listening to today’s college students. The NCAA, the NBA, and huge chain multinational corporations all shout about how the world should turn in the direction they want. But nonetheless, we must compromise to achieve any success in the American experiment. So when a debate arises, we must work to the middle of the discussion. If there are a majority of Republicans in an area,…

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